Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
