remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Come share oat with me in your robe
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
