i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she looked like the before picture.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize