I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
