i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Found the puke drawer
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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