4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
