can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
