When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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