they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
