Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
