I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
