Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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