i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
