ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
