The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Randomize
