He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I love you. Go after that dick
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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