I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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