i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just forgot I was standing up.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
