Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
