When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
