there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
