DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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