Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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