Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
