I seem to have left my pride at pride
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
