yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
