he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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