she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
