Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
