Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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