You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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