if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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