You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
