I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
they need to just BURY HIM!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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