Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
