PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
