And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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