Well douche your snatch and let's go!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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