i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
