Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize