Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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