So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
