Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
They took my balls.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
