it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
