i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
