Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
