Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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