im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
