At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
