some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
