If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
