i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
