wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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