This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize