Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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