I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
