I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
