So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
