Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
