My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
