Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
