saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
