did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
