whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
