its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
