I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
